Tricks of the Trade

I'm the world's best procrastinator. If it were a sport, I'd be a professional athlete. Instead, there's no market whatsoever for such a skill. Why is it that I'm only good at things that keep me poor? At any rate, my friend Lauren suggested that I educate the masses. So here goes. A list of ways to procrastinate. To be updated as ideas come to me.

1. update your blog.
2. watch several hours of Buffy.
3. check your e-mail.
4. call a friend and bitch about how you have no e-mail.
5. eat. you have to, or you'll die.
6. nap. again, necessary.
7. read the paper.
8. wash the dishes that have littered your sink for a week.
9. make your bed.
10. take a shower.
11. call your parents.
12. check your e-mail.
13. check friends' blogs.
14. paint your toenails.
15. do laundry.
16. go to intelligentsia to "study" and drink overpriced coffee
17. look at pictures of trashy celebrities at people.com
18. check your e-mail.
19. take out the trash.
20. go to the bookstore.
21. watch The Bachelor in Paris.
22. call several friends after to discuss the crazy woman with rotting eggs.
23. extract a pledge from each of them that they will never let you become that woman.
24. bake.
25. write an honest-to-God letter to your grandparents. nobody writes letters anymore.
26. that reminds me, check your e-mail.
25. Go to bed....which is where I'm headed now...Sweet dreams all.